subjectless on sunday

it sucks recently

to be in a foully mood
to be losing sleep for over two weeks
and not able to recover from the cough

to feel tired
from not having a proper sleep
from having family conferences every other night

to feel lazy
of tidying up my room
my dvd, vcd and cd racks
and my wardrobe

yes, i need time

to review my life
but more afraid than not, only having to reconfirm
i have failed so many tests in my life

more time

to have a proper sleep
to practice my mind
to expect less of others and myself
to learn
to appreciate
to let go
to start shopping for christmas presents

yet it still sucks

to feel lost yet again of directions in life
to lose touch in practicing meditation
to have a weak gastric
to be taken for granted
to not being able to help myself or help others
to know life is just the way it is

my bro and sis-in-law on verge of a divorce
and no joke it gets the whole family on meetings and discussions almost every night
which is pretty tiring
and gets only more frustrating to keep talking about the same questions, same issues
over and over again
only to have little or no conclusion
no idea what they are thinking about
and seriously to spare a thought and try being in the shoe of the party involved
where the saying goes
he who ties the knot
must untie it himself

so much for a sunday
maybe sitting here to blog
will help me think straighter
and find back the balance in my life
even though my butt (not sure why there and not thigh or calves) is aching terribly
from all the cycling i did at pulau ubin yesterday